Column: I detest Trump, but a ‘redneck’ fixed my Prius with zip ties

[Auburn85 432]

http://www.tampabay.com/opinion/columns/Column-I-detest-Trump-but-a-redneck-fixed-my-Prius-with-zip-ties-_165095870

 

 

Quote

 

By Ruth Mayer, Charlotte Observer

Published: February 2, 2018

Updated: February 2, 2018 at 05:57 PM

 

I went to the Women’s March in Washington, D.C., and I arrived home feeling heartbroken. It was the last way I expected to feel.

I had spent the morning sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with my 16-year-old daughter, Katherine, whose silent tears on election night in 2016 had marked the beginning of this national nightmare for me. She had insisted we drive from Charlotte to D.C. this year so that we could "protest in front of the president’s house." We heard all of the inspiring speakers; we relished the creativity of the posters and slogans. Being among so many like-minded people was comforting. I heard one woman say, "I love being here today. It makes me feel less alone."

I wanted to be with people who shared my anger. Because I have been so angry about Donald Trump this past year. I have been angry at my country for electing this man, angry at my neighbors who support him, angry at the wealthy who sacrificed our country and its goodness for tax breaks, angry at the coal miners who believed his promises.

My fury has been bottomless. I drink my morning coffee from a cup that says, "I hate to wake up when Donald Trump is President." The constancy of my outrage has been exhausting, yet I have not yet found a way to quell it — nearly each day has brought a new reason to stoke the fire. But a day with my daughter, communing with the angry and the aggrieved, seemed a good way to try.

After the march, Katherine and I hit the road in the late afternoon, feeling good; we had done our part to express our outrage. We were about 90 minutes south of D.C. when I heard a terrible popping sound. I assumed I had blown a tire and headed toward the nearest exit. The popping was followed by screeching — were we now driving on metal? Luckily, there was a gas station right off the exit.

Before I could do anything but park my gray Prius, a man rushed over. "I heard you coming down that road," he said. Before I could say much he started surveying the situation. He didn’t so much offer to help us as get right to work.

It turned out that I hadn’t blown a tire; a huge piece of plastic under the front bumper had come loose, causing the screeching as it scraped along the road. After determining that he couldn’t cut the plastic off, he ran over to his car to grab some zip ties so that he could secure the piece back in place.

He did all of this so quickly that I didn’t have time to grab the prominent RESIST sticker on the side of my car, which suddenly felt needlessly alienating. As this man lay on the ground under my car with his miracle zip ties, I asked if he thought they would hold for four more hours of driving.

"Just ask any redneck like me what you can do with zip ties — well, zip ties and duct tape. You can solve almost any car problem. You’ll get home safe," he said, turning to his teenage son standing nearby. "You can say that again," his son agreed.

The whole interaction lasted 10 minutes, tops. Katherine and I made it home safely.

Our encounter changed the day for me. While I tried to dive back into my liberal podcast, my mind kept being pulled back to the gas station. I couldn’t stop thinking about the man who called himself a "redneck" who came to our rescue. I sized him up as a Trump voter, just as he likely drew inferences from my Prius and RESIST sticker. But for a moment, we were just two people and the exchange was kindness (his) and gratitude (mine).

As I drove home, I felt the full extent to which Trump has actually diminished my own desire to be kind. He is keeping me so outraged that I hold ill will toward others on a daily basis. Trump is not just ruining our nation, he is ruining me. By the end of the drive, I felt heartbroken.

When my husband and I first moved to Charlotte eight years ago, I liked to tell people that our neighborhood represented the best impulses of America. In our little two-block craftsman-home development, we had people of every political persuasion from liberal to moderate Republican to tea party, and we all got along. We held porch parties in the summer and a progressive dinner at Christmas. We put being a cohesive neighborhood above politics.

But this year, I realize, I retreated from my porch. Trump’s cruelty and mendacity demand outrage and the most vigorous resistance a nation can muster. Yet the experience with the man at the side of the road felt humbling. It reminded me that we are all just people trying to get home safe. It felt like a sign, that maybe if we treat one another with the kindness and gratitude that is so absent from our president and his policies, putting our most loving selves forward, this moment can transform into something more bearable? I want to come away from the march with that simple lesson, but it begs this question: How do we hold onto the fire fueling our resistance to the cruelty Trump unleashes, but also embrace the world with love? I wish I knew.

Ruth Mayer is a development and communications consultant in Charlotte, N.C.

 

 

 

[AUFAN78 3,926]

She still has a way to go, but learning. I wish her well on her journey.

[McLoofus 35,182]

Cute story, and there is a lot of value in appreciating and discussing such interactions. But I think she's way off base. I also detest Trump, but she didn't stop talking to her neighbors because of him. He's a symptom, not the disease. Just look at this forum. He's clearly just giving some people what they want. It's up to this lady and the rest of us to choose how we deal with that. 

[AU64 10,122]

6 minutes ago, McLoofus said:

Cute story, and there is a lot of value in appreciating and discussing such interactions. But I think she's way off base. I also detest Trump, but she didn't stop talking to her neighbors because of him. He's a symptom, not the disease. Just look at this forum. He's clearly just giving some people what they want. It's up to this lady and the rest of us to choose how we deal with that. 

Very good point.   JMO but it's a waste of energy to let someone like Trump or Obama to ruin your day or ruin relationships with people with whom you have political differences. 

Wonder what kind of "development and communications" consulting work she does?  probably on the importance of diversity in the work place..

[TitanTiger 20,511]

36 minutes ago, McLoofus said:

Cute story, and there is a lot of value in appreciating and discussing such interactions. But I think she's way off base. I also detest Trump, but she didn't stop talking to her neighbors because of him. He's a symptom, not the disease. Just look at this forum. He's clearly just giving some people what they want. It's up to this lady and the rest of us to choose how we deal with that. 

I was thinking something similar.  Not to absolve Trump and the people who defend almost any thing he says or does because of tribal loyalties (or just hatred of the other side), but we have increasingly become incapable of remembering that there are real people behind the labels they wear (or that we put on others).  As odious as he and his most ardent supporters can be, you ultimately control how much of your life and happiness you're going to surrender to them.  You are in control of how you interact with your neighbor and how gracious you are to those around you.  Trump can't take that control away from you, you can only surrender it voluntarily.

[NolaAuTiger 3,295]

1 minute ago, TitanTiger said:

I was thinking something similar.  Not to absolve Trump and the people who defend almost any thing he says or does because of tribal loyalties (or just hatred of the other side), but we have increasingly become incapable of remembering that there are real people behind the labels we wear (or that we put on others).  As odious as he and his most ardent supporters can be, you ultimately control how much of your life and happiness you're going to surrender to them.  You are in control of how you interact with your neighbor and how gracious you are to those around you.  Trump can't take that control away from you, you can only surrender it voluntarily.

Not to absolve those who defend almost anything he says and does? Why is that? I certainly support majority of what he does and I celebrate him as a President. What guilt, shame, or blame do I need not be absolved from? Can we not just agree to disagree on many things instead of inferring blame or guilt. At least on this forum, the Trump supporters are generally not the ones who try to act high and mighty sitting on a high horse. I must say, it baffles me that the very rhetoric many Trump opponents complain over is the very rhetoric (and then some) they choose to employ against those who disagree with them. 

Other than what is in bold, I agree with you TT. Politics shouldn't be superior to relationships. In my experience, I've had to work close by individuals on all parts of the political spectrum. Fortunately, has never played a role in how we do business together.  

Gotta run, check back this evening. 

[TitanTiger 20,511]

7 minutes ago, NolaAuTiger said:

Not to absolve those who defend almost anything he says and does? Why is that? I certainly support majority of what he does and I celebrate him as a President. What guilt, shame, or blame do I need not be absolved from? Can we not just agree to disagree on many things instead of inferring blame or guilt. At least on this forum, the Trump supporters are generally not the ones who try to act high and mighty sitting on a high horse. I must say, it baffles me that the very rhetoric many Trump opponents complain over is the very rhetoric (and then some) they choose to employ against those who disagree with them. 

I think they call this "missing the forest for the trees."  It was simply a lead in to say that there are good reasons that people are upset with Trump and the behavior of some of his defenders.  It was essentially just a lead in to my main point, which is that no matter what level of responsibility you put on the other side for the state of affairs that is making you angry, they don't control how you live your life.  And that no matter how much you disagree with someone or how badly you think they are wrong in their opinions, they are still people, not disembodied ideologies.

 

 

[homersapien 11,452]

2 hours ago, AU64 said:

Very good point.   JMO but it's a waste of energy to let someone like Trump or Obama to ruin your day or ruin relationships with people with whom you have political differences. 

Wonder what kind of "development and communications" consulting work she does?  probably on the importance of diversity in the work place..

If only it were that alone.

Trump has done great damage to environmental policy, conservation policy, healthcare policy and diplomacy. Not to mention how he has divided the country down to the family level.

 It will take years to recover, even though I am sure the effort will begin as soon as when he (and Pence) are gone.

[AUloggerhead 2,253]

13 hours ago, AUFAN78 said:

She still has a way to go, but learning. I wish her well on her journey.

Truly.  This woman's story is the living embodiment of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS.)  She drinks her morning coffee with an anti-trump slogan on it and wonders why her TDS is with her 24/7.  smdh 

Maybe one day she'll figure out that her personal happiness is not dependent on the (temporary) occupant in the White House.  

[homersapien 11,452]

20 hours ago, Auburn85 said:

http://www.tampabay.com/opinion/columns/Column-I-detest-Trump-but-a-redneck-fixed-my-Prius-with-zip-ties-_165095870

 

 

 

That "redneck" could have been me. (Except that I would have included wire, which is even better than zip ties for emergency repairs.)

The mistake she made was assuming he was a Trump supporter.

[McLoofus 35,182]

4 minutes ago, homersapien said:

That "redneck" could have been me. (Except that I would have also mentioned wire, which is even better than zip ties.)

The mistake she made was assuming he was a Trump supporter.

There is that, too. 

[Barnacle 9,064]

1 hour ago, homersapien said:

The mistake she made was assuming he was a Trump supporter.

My thought as well. 

5 hours ago, McLoofus said:

Cute story, and there is a lot of value in appreciating and discussing such interactions. But I think she's way off base. I also detest Trump, but she didn't stop talking to her neighbors because of him. He's a symptom, not the disease. Just look at this forum. He's clearly just giving some people what they want. It's up to this lady and the rest of us to choose how we deal with that. 

Yes, yes, yes.

If there's one thing that I despise about politics in this country, it's how people automatically assume the worst about others. Louis C.K. wrote a really good scene in Horace and Pete that kind of encapsulates it for me: (Pardon the NSFW language)