i got jokes

[bigsixfive 327]

Sent to me via email...

One foggy night, a Alabama fan was heading north from Mobile and a Auburn fan was driving south from Birmingham. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Alabama fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Auburn fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Alabama fan walks over to the Auburn fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Auburn fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Auburn fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Alabama fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship."

The Alabama fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Alabama fan hands it back to the Auburn fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Auburn fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

WAR EAGLE!!!!!!

[otterinbham 0]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

I just laughed my ass off.

[AUesquire 1]

Sweeeet.

This State Trooper was on his first day on the job. He was eager to pop someone on his first day and prove his mettle. Just then, a car comes screaming by at 125 mph. The new trooper frantically cranks up and takes off in hot pursuit. He soon pulls the speeding car over and when he gets up to the window, the driver says, "Look, you're gonna' find out anyway so I may as well go ahead and tell you."

"I just robbed a bank back up the road." At that, the trooper goes into Barney Fyffe mode and pulls out his gun, shaking like a leaf. The driver continues as he gets out of the car with his hands held high.

"And unfortunately, I panicked and shot the teller dead. Her body is in the trunk."

Now the trooper has drawn down on the guy.

The driver continues, "The money I stole is under the seat and the gun is in the glove compartment."

Later, the young trooper is standing beside the car, with his first arrest, safely cuffed and stuffed in the back seat while 25 FBI agents, 30 cops, 3 helicopters and 5 tracking dogs comb the area with the press filming every second of the action.

An FBI agent strolls over to the proud trooper and says, "We checked a 100 mile radius and no bank has been robbed. There's no body in the trunk, no money under the seat and no gun anywhere in this car."

Just then, the arrested man hollered out, "Yea, and next he'll try and tell you I was going 125 mph."