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Understanding Engineers -

1) Two engineering students were walking across a

university campus when one said, "Where did you get

such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking

along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a

beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the

ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what

you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good

choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you


2) To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the

pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,

the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

3) A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one

morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must

have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never

seen such inept Golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's

have a word with Him."

He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group

ahead of us?

They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of

blind fire fighters.

They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire

last year, so we always let them play for free


The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a

special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my

ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything

he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

4) What is the difference between mechanical engineers

and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers

build targets

5) The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it


The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it


The Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much

will it cost?"

The Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries

with that?"

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