FUNNIEST QUOTES FROM SEINFELD

[hk4414 0]

You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.

[AA 1]

I'm out there Jerry and lovin every minute of it!

[hk4414 0]

See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.

[AA 1]

You're gonna be the first pirate. But i dont wanna be a pirate

[hk4414 0]

I'm at the corner of first, and first. Wait a minute. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the center of the universe!

[AA 1]

Little jerry was born to cockfight

[hk4414 0]

George, I've used the bathroom; it's fine.

No, no, no, no - I can walk it off. It's 120 degrees in here: I'll sweat it out.

[Martian Manhunter1345162906 0]

George: Do women know about shrinkage?

Elaine: What, like laundry?

Jerry: Like when a man goes swimming...afterwards...

Elaine: !! It shrinks?!?

Jerry: Like a frightened turtle.

[doubleaWE 0]

"You're a rabid anti-dentite!"

Kramer

[doubleaWE 0]

Jackie Chiles: You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on?

[fourthvision 0]

Stella....Stellaaahhhha!!!!!!!

[Martian Manhunter1345162906 0]

George: What kind of a person are you?

Jerry: Like you, only successful.

[aubman1 0]

George:

"She does know about shrinkage doesn't she?"

[28Auburn27 0]

"She had man hands.."

[Richard78 73]

It's not you. It's me.

[Weegle777 78]

"YOU'RE A RABID ANTI-DENTITE!!"

[Richard78 73]

"I'm out!" -Kramer in the Master of Your Domain Episode

[GA Tiger Fan1345162824 0]

Jerry runs to the window and yells down, "Delores!"

[AA 1]

I present to you, the candy lineup

[bigbird 60,562]

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon...

[preacher1345162942 0]

this horse loves the slop. he's a mudder his mother was a mudder

[auriptide 0]

this horse loves the slop. he's a mudder his mother was a mudder

Newman:  I'm not beaten yet.  I still have armies in the Ukraine.

Kramer:  Ha ha, the Ukraine.  Do you know what the Ukraine is?  It's a sitting

duck.  A road apple, Newman.  The Ukraine is weak.  It's feeble.  I think it's

time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.

Ukrainian:  I come from Ukraine.  You not say Ukraine weak.

Kramer:  Yeah, well we're playing a game here, pal.

Ukrainian:  Ukraine is game to you?!  Howbout I take your little board and smash

it!!

[preacher1345162942 0]

yada yada yada

[Warbird82 160]

Jerry runs to the window and yells down, "Delores!"

Mulva?

[Warbird82 160]

"Jerry, its not a lie...if you believe it!"