Tiger in Spain 0 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 DEAR ABBY: I have been in a serious relationship for 13 months. The woman I am with has a daughter who is 15 months old. I am the only father figure that has ever been in her life. Her biological father, "Evan," saw her only twice. I have been supporting my lady and her child for a while.Last January, Evan died, and my lady took it hard. Last Saturday, she got his name tattooed on her back without consulting me. She didn't tell me until after it was done, and it upset me. We are supposed to be married soon. Every time we make love, that tattoo reminds me of Evan. I feel she should have asked me what I thought about the idea first. She expects me to consult her about things that I do before I do them. Am I wrong for expecting the same respect from her as I give her? Should I tell her how I feel, or should I avoid having a confrontation with her and try to forget about it? -- ANGRY AND CONFUSED IN PHOENIX If I were Abby, my advice to the guy would be Dear Meal Ticket, Tattoo "Evan" on your back too. That'll confuse her. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupperClub 0 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear Angry and Confused, Drop a couple of roofies in her White Zin, and after she passes out, take a tattoo needle and write "was gay" under Evan. Then sit back and see how long it takes her to see it! Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravad 77 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear Angry and Confused, Time to hit the road. I think a tattoo is a BIG DEAL; it is something you are putting on your body forever. She obviously cares for Evan more than she cares for you; get out now before it is too late. You also, if allowed, need to maintain your relationship with the little girl. Just because her Mom is a twit doesn’t make her any less your little girl. Good luck and be the best Dad you can be. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarTim 3,456 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear angry & confused, Buy your significant "other" a new dark pink uat wife beater shirt. She will be so overjoyed that she will agree to removing the troublesome body marking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny AU-92 0 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear Angry and Confused, Many stupid women see the whole idea of losing a lover to death as tragically romantic (i.e., Romeo and Juliet syndrome), and will vow to keep the flame burning, even when the guy is a total loser. Just because Evan was not emotionally connected with his daughter did not mean that her mother did not have a deeper connection to him, and maybe the tat is her way of eternally memorializing that connection. The threat to your relationship is how consumed she becomes with Evan's memory - will she carry it to the point of obsession? Or was the tatoo a momentary response to what could be genuine grief? (He WAS the real father of her child, no matter how deadbeat.) Fortunately, Evan himself is no longer an issue - since he's dead, she can't exactly go running back to him, so the "cheating", if you will, is all mental. If you can deal with an obsession for a dead guy, I see no reason why you can't choose to continue the relationship. But if the obsession gets on your last nerve, you need to take a long hard look at the relationship and decide if you want to carry on with such an immature hamster. It would be terrible for the child if you left, but the poor little thing is probably already genetically doomed with the parents she had. You would probably be a very positive influence on her, but it would be worse if you hung around for several more years and then left. IF you are going, better to do it now while she is so young. You said you were getting married soon - honey, get used to her expecting you to consult her about stuff even though she does her own thing. That's life in the married lane. I would wait a few months and see if it gets any worse. In the meantime, use the missionary position, or at least turn the lights out. Then you can't see the tattoo. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tigrinum Major Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear Angry and Confused: Kill her, bury her next to Evan and raise the child as your own. Abby (Succintness is the key to being a good advice columnist.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GalensGhost 0 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear Angry and Confused: Did you say you were getting married soon? Then don't sweat it. You won't be having enough sex after you're married to be concerned with it. In fact on the rare occasions that you DO have sex, you'll be so overjoyed to get the chance to drop the hammer with a live human being that you won't care if she's got a live size statue of Evan posing as Michealangelo's David in the corner, a picture of a naked Evan above the bed, a tattoo of her and Evan copulating etched to her butt and she slaps you on the chest and calls YOU Evan. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger12 46 Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Dear Confused. I have a little experience in failed marriages (two) and also with a wife having feelings for another man, dead or alive. Trust me when I say that unless you both start serving God instead of yourselves, your upcoming marriage will fail. She needs to realize that Evan was not a part of her life anymore and should not remain a part of her life after he has become "bug food". You need to have a serious talk with her about the tatoo and if she does not agree in having it removed then you need to pack your bags or her bags (depending on whose house you are living in) and get out of that relationship. If it stays like it is, you will just be hurting that child more when the marriage falls apart in a few years rather then leaving now while the child is too young to remember. Maybe the threat of you leaving will be a wake-up call for her, but you need to make sure you are not being her "sugar daddy". If she does not want to make any compromises, then it needs to be "adois" for you my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukeduke 8 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Confused, Sleep with her mother and videotape it. Leave it in the VCR and let her see it. That'll teach her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietfan 233 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Confused, Since the damage is already done, you may just have to limit yourself to those sexual positions that don't give you a view of her back. If you'd like to swap places with Evan, I imagine he'd be agreeable to that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saniflush 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I'm thinking we should just pluck one of these a day out of the paper and do it. Some of these responses are thought provoking and the rest are just a RIOT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bammanmr 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Angry and Confused, Grow up nancyboy. You should have a Doctor check and see if you're really a man, because it sounds a lot like you don't have a set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger in Spain 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 I'm thinking we should just pluck one of these a day out of the paper and do it. Some of these responses are thought provoking and the rest are just a RIOT! 234875[/snapback] Great idea. Let's try this one... DEAR ABBY: I am being married next year, and our "best man" is female. Can you tell us what we should call her? -- KARLA IN AKRON, OHIO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saniflush 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Karla, Are you sure the best man is a woman? If so, are you sure your future husband hasn't been didling her? My guess is you can begin by calling her homewrecker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger in Spain 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Karla, Are you the groom or the bride in this "union"? I say call her Rosie like everyone else does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukeduke 8 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Karla, I'd say call her "alternate". This applies to when you have a headache, don't feel like it, it's that time of the month, she can be the "alternate". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupperClub 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Karla, For your wedding programs, you can call her Best Woman. But for me, I'd call her the Best Attempt to Break Up a Marriage That I've Ever Seen. Check for her listing in your husband's cell phone. If she is listed as "911 Booty" or anything similar, it may prudent to leave him at the alter. Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny AU-92 0 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 My corndog's best person in our wedding was his cousin Ruth, who is like his sister, and is the person who introduced us. So this isn't a joke for me - I lived it! But... in the spirit of the thread: Dear Karla: In ancient times, the role of the best man was to guard the groom's back as he kidnapped and subsequently ravaged his "bride". Sounds to me like your hubby is setting you up for a three way on your honeymoon, or at least some girl on girl action for his viewing pleasure. I'd call her "Fantasy Fulfillment" or "The Best Wedding Present a Guy Could Get". Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tigrinum Major Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 My corndog's best person in our wedding was his cousin Ruth, who is like his sister, and is the person who introduced us. So this isn't a joke for me - I lived it! 234903[/snapback] Yet more proof that folks from Louisiana are not like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravad 77 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Karla,I'd say call her "alternate". This applies to when you have a headache, don't feel like it, it's that time of the month, she can be the "alternate". 234890[/snapback] Can I get one of these for my husband? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigermike 3,040 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear KARLA IN AKRON, OHIO, Keep this quote in mind before you marry because it could be of benefit to you in the end. Confusius say "If you're doin it doggy and you have to turn around to see who you're with, you're in the wrong position." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietfan 233 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Karla,I'd say call her "alternate". This applies to when you have a headache, don't feel like it, it's that time of the month, she can be the "alternate". 234890[/snapback] Can I get one of these for my husband? 234911[/snapback] Dear Ravad,Can I get someone as open-minded as you for my next wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKW 86 7,431 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 DEAR ABBY: I have been in a serious relationship for 13 months. The woman I am with has a daughter who is 15 months old. I am the only father figure that has ever been in her life. Her biological father, "Evan," saw her only twice. I have been supporting my lady and her child for a while.Last January, Evan died, and my lady took it hard. Last Saturday, she got his name tattooed on her back without consulting me. She didn't tell me until after it was done, and it upset me. We are supposed to be married soon. Every time we make love, that tattoo reminds me of Evan. I feel she should have asked me what I thought about the idea first. She expects me to consult her about things that I do before I do them. Am I wrong for expecting the same respect from her as I give her? Should I tell her how I feel, or should I avoid having a confrontation with her and try to forget about it? -- ANGRY AND CONFUSED IN PHOENIX If I were Abby, my advice to the guy would be Dear Meal Ticket, Tattoo "Evan" on your back too. That'll confuse her. Abby 234746[/snapback] Dear Loser, 1) Wake up, smell the coffee. 2) Kick her to the curb. 3) Pray for the kid. This psycho needs to waste no more of your time. Grow a set and punt her out of your life now. She is obviously obsessed with Evan. Soon he will some be mythological in her world. You will never measure up to her mythic Evan. You are wasting your time. So, move on. Get some psychiatric help of your own. Get a life! Abby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietfan 233 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 DEAR ABBY: I have been in a serious relationship for 13 months. The woman I am with has a daughter who is 15 months old. I am the only father figure that has ever been in her life. Her biological father, "Evan," saw her only twice. I have been supporting my lady and her child for a while.Last January, Evan died, and my lady took it hard. Last Saturday, she got his name tattooed on her back without consulting me. She didn't tell me until after it was done, and it upset me. We are supposed to be married soon. Every time we make love, that tattoo reminds me of Evan. I feel she should have asked me what I thought about the idea first. She expects me to consult her about things that I do before I do them. Am I wrong for expecting the same respect from her as I give her? Should I tell her how I feel, or should I avoid having a confrontation with her and try to forget about it? -- ANGRY AND CONFUSED IN PHOENIX If I were Abby, my advice to the guy would be Dear Meal Ticket, Tattoo "Evan" on your back too. That'll confuse her. Abby 234746[/snapback] Dear Loser, 1) Wake up, smell the coffee. 2) Kick her to the curb. 3) Pray for the kid. This psycho needs to waste no more of your time. Grow a set and punt her out of your life now. She is obviously obsessed with Evan. Soon he will some be mythological in her world. You will never measure up to her mythic Evan. You are wasting your time. So, move on. Get some psychiatric help of your own. Get a life! Abby 234997[/snapback] Much like trying to live up to a mythological coach's legend, I guess. Should we forward this advise to Shula? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CCTAU 3,335 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 DEAR ABBY: I have been in a serious relationship for 13 months. The woman I am with has a daughter who is 15 months old. I am the only father figure that has ever been in her life. Her biological father, "Evan," saw her only twice. I have been supporting my lady and her child for a while.Last January, Evan died, and my lady took it hard. Last Saturday, she got his name tattooed on her back without consulting me. She didn't tell me until after it was done, and it upset me. We are supposed to be married soon. Every time we make love, that tattoo reminds me of Evan. I feel she should have asked me what I thought about the idea first. She expects me to consult her about things that I do before I do them. Am I wrong for expecting the same respect from her as I give her? Should I tell her how I feel, or should I avoid having a confrontation with her and try to forget about it? -- ANGRY AND CONFUSED IN PHOENIX If I were Abby, my advice to the guy would be Dear Meal Ticket, Tattoo "Evan" on your back too. That'll confuse her. Abby 234746[/snapback] Dear Loser, 1) Wake up, smell the coffee. 2) Kick her to the curb. 3) Pray for the kid. This psycho needs to waste no more of your time. Grow a set and punt her out of your life now. She is obviously obsessed with Evan. Soon he will some be mythological in her world. You will never measure up to her mythic Evan. You are wasting your time. So, move on. Get some psychiatric help of your own. Get a life! Abby 234997[/snapback] These wer my thoughts. First of all, if you have to write in to anybody for advice, YOU ARE LOST. Read the bible, pray, and listen for an answer. We each must live with the choices we make. So we better get advice from the only one that has the correct answer. BUT. In the spirit of the thread. Go ahead and marry her. No other real woman would have a sorry excuse for a man like you for any significant amount of time anyway. I love it when two ignorant people propagate. As for the female best man. Please if it ain't got a penis, it ain't a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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