2006 Football predictions

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2006 Football Predictions

by Ryan

8-16-06

Washington State @ #6 Auburn

First off, let me point out that Auburn hasn’t exactly brought their “A-Game” to the more recent Season-Openers: Southern Cal spanked us back to back in 2002 and 2003 in both openers; Georgia Tech gave us a taste of some humble pie last season. We are 1-3 in our last 4 openers. Our only recent wins in opening games have come against Louisiana-Monroe in 2004 and Ball State in 2001, neither of which is exactly a quality win. In other words, we need to take this game seriously.

Needless to say, Auburn is going into this game as the heavy favorite, which hardly ever bodes very well for our Auburn Tigers. Washington State was 8th in the nation last year in overall offense. Two of our potential starting linebackers, Kevin Sears and Tray Blackmon are suspended through the LSU game. Chances are Washington State is going to give our young defense a rough start to the season. Luckily for us, Auburn endorses a little something-something called depth. Karibi Dede and Merrill Johnson are both battle tested and will do just as good a job, if not a better job.

This game can be described in two words: “Schloppy Jalopy.” Auburn will make a few mistakes while shaking off the “first-game-jibblies” and Washington State will be able to take advantage of just enough of them to pull out a “moral victory” in an otherwise heart-shattering 42-0 loss.

#6 Auburn @ Mississippi State

This is SEC football at its finest! I’m just kidding. Auburn wins by a landslide, getting good reps in with the second team. Kody Bliss gets 2 interceptions and Quentin Groves rushes for 112 yards on 5 carries- since placing players outside their positions worked so well last year. Auburn wins 52-6.

#8 LSU @ #6 Auburn

This game, much like the last two years will be decided by special teams. And one team is going to hate themselves for another year. We got a break two years ago, LSU got the break last year, who gets the break this year? Auburn. Why you ask? Because this year we’re not going to kick the ball. Borges is going to go NCAA style on LSU and “gopher it” on every 4th down. Extra points will come in pairs as we play-action our way into the end-zone “por dos mas puntos” (two more points for those who don’t speak Spanglish).

Auburn and LSU will cancel each other out on both sides of the ball. LSU will do a better job of containing Kenny Irons this year, but Brandon Cox will step up into ultra-clutch mode and make plays when needed. On the other side of the ball, our secondary will do its job and slow down the lightening fast receivers of LSU, but our linebacker issues will allow a few more rushing yards than desired. This year, its Auburn’s turn to make another clutch late 3rd/4th down conversion, meanwhile Ryan will underdose on Extra-Strength Tylenol and slip in to an awesomeness-induced coma. Auburn wins in another LSU-AU classic in a 16-14 win.

Buffalo @ #4 Auburn

The only thing keeping Auburn from losing this game is the fact that Buffalo is terrible. The starters get the week off for their awesome performance against LSU and we get a peek at the future Auburn as our second and third string roll on to a 33-10 win.

#4 Auburn @ South Carolina

This game is scary. I can just see Spurrier in is lair/dungeon/evil castle creating plans to make an example out of Auburn on a nationally televised Thursday night home game. South Carolina will likely be 3-1 by now with three lay-ups against Mississippi State, Wofford, and Florida Atlantic and a loss to Georgia. USC will be just outside of being ranked and Auburn would be wise not to overlook the Gamecocks. But then again, these are the types of games that Al Borges likes to show off his creativity and I wouldn’t be surprised to see the throwing arm of Kenny Irons or Courtney Taylor being tested. If the trick plays work, Auburn will win in a somewhat convincing 28-14 challenging road game against a hungry South Carolina team desperate for respect. Oh yeah, and if the trick plays don’t work, we’ll win 28-14. The trick plays change nothing.

#24 Arkansas @ #4 Auburn

Arkansas will be coming in hot off of a huge win over Alabama. People start to take notice of this up-and-coming Arkansas team, only to watch them be destroyed and humiliated. Sadly for Arkansas, Al Borges comes into the game off a hot plate of Mike and Ed’s BBQ and is feeling “Saucy.” The Borg runs up the score despite Tubbs failed attempts to keep the fans in the stands. Auburn posts a finger-licking-good 35-7 victory.

#5 Florida @ #4 Auburn

Florida and Auburn are the only two undefeated teams left in the SEC, while USC, Notre Dame, and Texas are undefeated as well. Florida ends their tour of the SEC west after dealing with Alabama and LSU only to get their baggage (their butts) handed back to them for a long trip home back to the Swamp. In all fairness, Florida will be beaten and tired and likely won’t play as well as they are capable of, and Auburn will reap the benefits. Chris Leak will blow up Urban Meyer’s gameplan and Cox, Irons and company will bring the pain. The score will look a lot better than the game in a 17-9 win for the Tigers. We’ll see more of Florida in the SECC.

Tulane @ #3 Auburn

Auburn gets the boost in rankings for the huge win last week. Tulane, knowing how outmatched they are in football, challenge Auburn to a hot dog eating contest. Tulane is surprising talented frank-consumers and embarrass the leaner Tiger team in a 1424-935 total hot dog consumption score. However, on gameday, Auburn does not allow Tulane to gain a yard in an equally devastating 72-0 win.

#3 Auburn @ Ole Miss

Auburn is unable to get a single snap off, as the defense scores on every single Rebel drive. 24-0 Tigers.

Arkansas State @ #3 Auburn

Auburn sweeps the state of Arkansas… literally. Auburn tries to clean the place up, beating Arkansas State along the way 38-3.

#10 Georgia @ #2 Auburn

Always a sweet rivalry. Auburn leads the total scores between the two in a century long tradition by 2 freakin’ points. This year won’t change much with another awesome collision between two of the SEC’s best programs. Should I awake from the coma that LSU gave me, this game may very well finish me off. I’ll die happy. This year, Leonard Pope won’t run all over us and that alone will give Auburn the edge to pull out an awesome 28-27 win.

Iron Bowl: AU vs UA

Here is the conversation between Mark and myself amidst the creation of this article:

Mark : is it just me, or are people WAAAY too paranoid about the WSU game and WAAAY too overly confident about the Bama game?

Ryan : i think we should be paranoid about both

Ryan : bama's going to be pretty pissed

Mark : yeah

Ryan : but they still can't play football

Mark : yeah, we've got that going for us

Ryan : what are they going to do, pass to prothro every down?

Ryan : listen, TRE SMITH beat bama

Ryan : they are hopeless

Alabama will have a rough year, but that won’t stop them from going all out as they always do for the Iron Bowl. Those who don’t understand the rivalry will knock Auburn for the close win. Bama will throw everything and the kitchen sink at Auburn but only the toaster will connect. Auburn will retaliate by throwing a combination of the paper towel rack, the ice tray from the freezer and a salt shaker at Alabama giving Auburn the close, yet glorious 13-10 edge. War Eagle!

Conclusion: Auburn will be the only previously undefeated team to survive rivalry week and will win in a much tougher battle against Florida to win the SEC title. Auburn will issue a challenge to the BCS to bring their prettiest media child team for us to mangle, spangle and Bengal. I’m getting tired and this article is losing steam. Let’s say that Auburn spanks Ohio State so hard that we receive two National Championships.

War Eagle!

"The Borg"

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