Need Advice

[DKW 86 7,437]

Look guys, it is just a freakin' football game for crying out loud!

My ex-wife was a bammer, but that had nothing to do with our relationship failing. It did not even really play into the relationship much at all. She wore her bammer stuff and I wore mine. We ribbed each other some, but when you are in true love with somebody, you should be able to overcome silly things like that. I know there are some that think football is life, but most of those that think that way need to see a little more of the bad aspects of life to know where to set their priorities.

Also, my lifelong best friend is a UAT graduate who played baseball there and his family are rabid UAT fans. I am even good friends with a former UAT football player that was a starter on their 1993 team. I have been to T-Town more then Auburn to be honest with your. Not once did our different loyalties ever get in the way of my friendship with my buddy or his family. It actually made the football season a little more interesting to rib each other. If you and your girlfriend can deal with each other like that, you'll be okay. Go to the game, you'll have fun. I wore my AU stuff in T-Town several times and even went to some basketball and baseball games and I never had any real problems from UAT people except for good natured ribbing. You will find that most UAT people that go to the school and to the games are better then the rednecks that never set foot on campus, which are the idiots you hear from the most. I enjoyed the UAT basketball and baseball games I went too. You probably will too and being with your girlfriend will probably make it even more enjoyable.

I have family and friends that went to Bama. Family okay. Friends? They could not go 10 minutes without putting AU down. It is what they do. They cannot help themselves. They think if you go to then you must be out down every 10 minutes or so, just to keep their pathetic little lives going. I dont ever call or visit them now. I have tried everything to get them to quit. They think if they beat up on meenough I willm eventually convert back to Bama.......They dont know me that well I uess.

[Tiger in Spain 0]

I just simply cannot do it. There is no explanation that I can come up with other than that.

Been married to a bammer for 18 years now. This is life you are talking about. Football is just a game. That young lady sees something in you that she likes. Don't screw it up, unless of course she looks like Big Al.

Seriously, you can go to 1 game there in hell and still retain your manhood. Wear neutral colors and remain silent. You will see that 2 and a half hours will pass rather quickly, and you will have a special place in her heart for doing what you did.

My advice is to suck it up and go.

[GalensGhost 0]

You've got to think about the bigger picture. Sure it's just a game. You could go and have your love for AU reinforced by being in that awful place. Wouldn't kill you. But what you're missing is the implied here. She thinks that by making you go two things will happen. 1) she will soften your stance toward bama when you see that the stadium really isn't filled with trolls (I've been and it is) and 2) she'll establish the fact that she has the upper hand and can dictate terms. Neither of those things trend well.

Beyond that is the issue of children. This is important. If you think you may end up married to and breeding with this girl, you need to consider the broader implications here.

My wife was a staunch Alabama fan when we married. Like you, I was blinded by love (or perhaps something else) and thought I could get past it. And then we had kids. From the first day our daughter was born there was an every day battle to push her in one direction or another. The inlaws thought it would be cute to buy her Bama stuff to wear. Little shirts, hats, hairbows. I forbade it. My wife retaliated by banning all Auburn attire. Her family was miffed. My family was miffed. One day her mother came to the house with an Alabama jumper/dress. She took the approach that our disagreement was ridiculous and there was no way "her grandbaby wasn't going to be raised in the 'right' way" Perhaps it was a declaration of war on my part, but I invited her to stay for dinner. Got some steaks and fired up the grill. When the coals were nice and hot I took that outfit and burned it right in front of her. I then banned her mother from uttering the words "r--- t---" in my or my daughter's presence and told her that if she couldn't keep from doing it, she wasn't welcome in my home. Good times.

For the first three years of our married life, this was about all we argued over. No arguments over sex, money, housework or any of the typical things. Just this thing of ours.

As it turns out, she was invited to an Auburn game as part of her job (pharmacy) and was required to attend by her boss. She was pissed and dreaded it for weeks. She went with the frame of mind of hating it. Auburn lost to Southern Miss (and Favre) but she left with a different perspective. She saw how our fans treated each other and the USM fans. She saw how beautiful AU was and how we truly did treat each other like family. She left with tears in her eyes and a request to stop by J&M. She bought an AU sweatshirt with her own money. She asked to go back to other games. We went several more times. Just to make sure, I insisted that she go to an Alabama game later that season. She came back with a profound sense of disillusionment. I never asked her to turn, but she turned on her own. And like a reformed smoker, her turn was hard. She now hates Bama and its fans. Can't stand to be around them. She goes to war -- and its nuclear -- with her bama family. She is ashamed that she was ever a part of that uncouth culture.

Happily, my oldest daughter is the most passionate Auburn fan I know. She loves it so much that I worry about her. She gets excited and has trouble breathing when we make the turn off the interstate and head toward campus. In too few years, she will move there as a student. She is counting down the days. I've got to work on my baby girl now. She has decided on her own that she's a Michigan fan and is pretty adamant about it. Michigan I can live with. Bama? No. She's only six, so there's time.

The point of all this is that you do seriously need to think about the strain it will put on your relationship if and when you have kids. Your well-meaning Bama inlaws won't be able to help themselves and will try to force your children to fall under their evil spell. They'll accuse you of child abuse if you take your children to Auburn and verse them in the ways of the AU family. Are you strong enough to deal with that? Is your relationship? Are you prepared to stand up to their relentless onslaught? It'll be okay for them to wear Bama stuff and taunt you, but God forbid you ever mention AU to them. That would make you a "redneck" and a "bad sport".

I'm not sure our marriage would have survived had my wife not had an Auburn ephiany. It's like a Muslim marrying a Christian. Yeah, it works sometimes, but in most cases the differences are pretty fundamental and the obstacles too great to overcome.

If you intend to go forward with this woman, you need to do so with the understanding that your relationship already has an issue that is going to divide you at the heart. Make sure that what you feel for her goes beyond the inital passion or at the end of the day you'll be left with someone you discover you don't really like and with whom you have some significant differences.

On the other hand, if she's smoking hot, has loads of money and likes to have screaming monkey sex four or five times a day, she's a keeper. Go to the game. That's a joke. Even that's not enough. Money can vanish, looks will fade and marriage is a libido killer.

['76 Tiger 108]

GROW UP. You're 30!

The good thing about football is that it gives you something to worry about that does not matter. I was an Auburn fan in the womb and have lived and died with the tigers all my life. That said, I know it doesn't matter. I had a good life during the Barfield years!

If you really love and respect this woman, and if she loves and respects you, put things in perspective, get married and have a great life. Agree to disagree on football, but always disagree with a smile and passionate sex.

If, on the other hand, this is not about football and is a cover for other problems...you have to deal with the other problems. A bad marriage will be Hell.

The stakes are monumental. Ignore football and other trivia and make important decisions.

I wish you every blessing and happiness. War Eagle!

Bob in Winter Haven, Florida

(a happy grandfather)

[weagl1 1,786]

I remember back when I was in school, a very long time ago. I was dating a bammer, a dang nice-looking hot redhead. I was having an awful hard time getting in her pants. Then the schedule came out and AU and Bammer had scheduled a double-header in B'ham. I think we were playing Oregon St. and they played California to open the season, 1973 I think. We agreed to go to the double-header with AU in the afternoon and Bammer that night. Anyway, both teams won and I got lucky. One of the best days of my life! So I say pick out a weekend when they are playing at night and we are on in the afternoon, or vice-versa, go on to the Crapstone and enjoy the game. Seeing J-H East will make you appreciate the real deal even more and, who knows, you just might get lucky!

[TigerOne 1,150]

Even the Scriptures warn of such things... "do not be yoked with nonbelievers"

which is further confirmed by

The Auburn Creed

I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work.

I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully.

I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men.

I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports to develop these qualities.

I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all.

I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all.

I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by "doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God."

And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it. -George Petrie (1945)

[AFTiger 282]

If she ever utters the words "If you really love me,----", run like hell.

[Proud Tiger 4,261]

You've got to think about the bigger picture. Sure it's just a game. You could go and have your love for AU reinforced by being in that awful place. Wouldn't kill you. But what you're missing is the implied here. She thinks that by making you go two things will happen. 1) she will soften your stance toward bama when you see that the stadium really isn't filled with trolls (I've been and it is) and 2) she'll establish the fact that she has the upper hand and can dictate terms. Neither of those things trend well.

Beyond that is the issue of children. This is important. If you think you may end up married to and breeding with this girl, you need to consider the broader implications here.

My wife was a staunch Alabama fan when we married. Like you, I was blinded by love (or perhaps something else) and thought I could get past it. And then we had kids. From the first day our daughter was born there was an every day battle to push her in one direction or another. The inlaws thought it would be cute to buy her Bama stuff to wear. Little shirts, hats, hairbows. I forbade it. My wife retaliated by banning all Auburn attire. Her family was miffed. My family was miffed. One day her mother came to the house with an Alabama jumper/dress. She took the approach that our disagreement was ridiculous and there was no way "her grandbaby wasn't going to be raised in the 'right' way" Perhaps it was a declaration of war on my part, but I invited her to stay for dinner. Got some steaks and fired up the grill. When the coals were nice and hot I took that outfit and burned it right in front of her. I then banned her mother from uttering the words "r--- t---" in my or my daughter's presence and told her that if she couldn't keep from doing it, she wasn't welcome in my home. Good times.

For the first three years of our married life, this was about all we argued over. No arguments over sex, money, housework or any of the typical things. Just this thing of ours.

As it turns out, she was invited to an Auburn game as part of her job (pharmacy) and was required to attend by her boss. She was pissed and dreaded it for weeks. She went with the frame of mind of hating it. Auburn lost to Southern Miss (and Favre) but she left with a different perspective. She saw how our fans treated each other and the USM fans. She saw how beautiful AU was and how we truly did treat each other like family. She left with tears in her eyes and a request to stop by J&M. She bought an AU sweatshirt with her own money. She asked to go back to other games. We went several more times. Just to make sure, I insisted that she go to an Alabama game later that season. She came back with a profound sense of disillusionment. I never asked her to turn, but she turned on her own. And like a reformed smoker, her turn was hard. She now hates Bama and its fans. Can't stand to be around them. She goes to war -- and its nuclear -- with her bama family. She is ashamed that she was ever a part of that uncouth culture.

Happily, my oldest daughter is the most passionate Auburn fan I know. She loves it so much that I worry about her. She gets excited and has trouble breathing when we make the turn off the interstate and head toward campus. In too few years, she will move there as a student. She is counting down the days. I've got to work on my baby girl now. She has decided on her own that she's a Michigan fan and is pretty adamant about it. Michigan I can live with. Bama? No. She's only six, so there's time.

The point of all this is that you do seriously need to think about the strain it will put on your relationship if and when you have kids. Your well-meaning Bama inlaws won't be able to help themselves and will try to force your children to fall under their evil spell. They'll accuse you of child abuse if you take your children to Auburn and verse them in the ways of the AU family. Are you strong enough to deal with that? Is your relationship? Are you prepared to stand up to their relentless onslaught? It'll be okay for them to wear Bama stuff and taunt you, but God forbid you ever mention AU to them. That would make you a "redneck" and a "bad sport".

I'm not sure our marriage would have survived had my wife not had an Auburn ephiany. It's like a Muslim marrying a Christian. Yeah, it works sometimes, but in most cases the differences are pretty fundamental and the obstacles too great to overcome.

If you intend to go forward with this woman, you need to do so with the understanding that your relationship already has an issue that is going to divide you at the heart. Make sure that what you feel for her goes beyond the inital passion or at the end of the day you'll be left with someone you discover you don't really like and with whom you have some significant differences.

On the other hand, if she's smoking hot, has loads of money and likes to have screaming monkey sex four or five times a day, she's a keeper. Go to the game. That's a joke. Even that's not enough. Money can vanish, looks will fade and marriage is a libido killer.

My kind of guy!!