New DC?

[WarTim 3,456]

Who else?...Chuck Norris. Not only would he be the coordinator, he would be THE defense. No worrying about "schemes", just get your butt over on the other side and snap the ball...then...RUN as fast as you can, for all the good it would do you.

[AWK 0]

While this would prevent any offense by the opposing team, we would have several defensive players ejected every game, due to roundhouse kicks to the offense that would certainly wipe them off the face of the earth.

[GalensGhost 0]

Who else?...Chuck Norris. Not only would he be the coordinator, he would be THE defense. No worrying about "schemes", just get your butt over on the other side and snap the ball...then...RUN as fast as you can, for all the good it would do you.

217147[/snapback]

I choose Pai Me.

[abrnfanatc 6]

While this would prevent any offense by the opposing team, we would have several defensive players ejected every game, due to roundhouse kicks to the offense that would certainly wipe them off the face of the earth.

217153[/snapback]

Not really, because ole Chuck himself would just give the referees a roundhouse kick to the head if he even caught them thinking about throwing a flag.

[TitanTiger 20,485]

I guess I'm out of the loop...what's with all the Chuck Norris references and Auburn lately? It's been the rage over at the AU Rivals board, I even saw something about it at the S. Carolina board. Clue me in.

[WeagleDMS 0]

Chuck Norris is so last week.

[AWK 0]

Chuck Norris is so last week.

217193[/snapback]

According to some scientists, technically, Chuck norris is every week

[WeagleDMS 0]

Chuck Norris is so last week.

217193[/snapback]

According to some scientists, technically, Chuck norris is every week

217211[/snapback]

Uggghhhhh, walked right into that one.

[AUesquire 1]

In All Things Considered, BG got us all started on fast food commercials and we got off on that weird "King" character, that trips me out by the way because he gets in guys' beds and stares in windows and stuff and has that goofy smile on his face like he has some perverted little secret that we don't want to know but can't help wondering what it is and......

Oh, sorry. Anyway, someone said the King looks like Chuck Norris and it went from there. So, I could never vote for Chuck Norris cause' he looks too much like the King and you know how he freaks me out with that stupid big headed smile and the way he stares at people.....

I'm going with Will Muschamp. As far as I know, he looks nothing like the King.

Or Chuck Norris.

[LegalEagle 22]

Top 15 Teams in Total Defense:

1 Virginia Tech 13 789 3219 4.08 19 247.62 11 2 0

2 Alabama 12 713 3061 4.29 15 255.08 10 2 0

3 LSU 13 833 3469 4.16 21 266.85 11 2 0

4 Miami (Fla.) 12 828 3241 3.91 19 270.08 9 3 0

5 Ohio St. 12 780 3376 4.33 21 281.33 10 2 0

6 Tennessee 11 720 3280 4.56 21 298.18 5 6 0

7 Connecticut 11 731 3281 4.49 28 298.27 5 6 0

8 North Carolina St. 12 841 3584 4.26 25 298.67 7 5 0

9 Florida 12 748 3598 4.81 30 299.83 9 3 0

10 Texas 13 897 3938 4.39 25 302.92 13 0 0

11 Kansas 12 834 3639 4.36 33 303.25 7 5 0

12 Penn St. 12 877 3656 4.17 24 304.67 11 1 0

13 Oklahoma 12 830 3680 4.43 34 306.67 8 4 0

14 Florida St. 13 896 4020 4.49 34 309.23 8 5 0

15 West Virginia 12 822 3729 4.54 26 310.75 11 1 0

Top 15 Teams in Scoring Defense:

1 Alabama 12 15 14 0 0 0 8 0 128 10.7 10 2 0

2 Virginia Tech 13 19 18 0 0 0 12 0 168 12.9 11 2 0

3 LSU 13 21 18 1 0 0 13 0 185 14.2 11 2 0

4 Miami (Fla.) 12 19 19 0 0 0 12 1 171 14.3 9 3 0

5 Ohio St. 12 21 18 1 0 1 11 1 183 15.3 10 2 0

6 Auburn 12 20 19 1 0 0 15 0 186 15.5 9 3 0

7 Boston College 12 21 20 0 0 0 15 0 191 15.9 9 3 0

8 Georgia 13 27 24 0 0 0 9 0 213 16.4 10 3 0

8 Texas 13 25 21 0 0 0 14 0 213 16.4 13 0 0

10 Penn St. 12 24 16 4 0 0 12 0 204 17.0 11 1 0

11 Clemson 12 23 20 1 0 0 17 0 211 17.6 8 4 0

12 North Carolina St. 12 25 24 0 0 0 12 1 212 17.7 7 5 0

13 West Virginia 12 26 22 0 0 0 12 0 214 17.8 11 1 0

14 South Fla. 12 28 25 0 0 0 7 1 216 18.0 6 6 0

15 TCU 12 26 24 1 0 0 13 1 223 18.6 11 1 0

Top 15 Teams in Passing Defense:

1 Miami (Fla.) 12 354 165 46.61 11.07 14 3.95 1826 5.16 8 152.17 0 9 3 0

2 Pittsburgh 11 295 147 49.83 11.44 14 4.75 1681 5.70 10 152.82 0 5 6 0

3 Virginia Tech 13 387 192 49.61 10.44 19 4.91 2005 5.18 11 154.23 0 11 2 0

4 Connecticut 11 284 132 46.48 13.20 14 4.93 1743 6.14 10 158.45 0 5 6 0

5 Alabama 12 352 175 49.72 11.02 11 3.13 1929 5.48 9 160.75 0 10 2 0

6 South Fla. 12 308 160 51.95 12.41 13 4.22 1985 6.44 11 165.42 0 6 6 0

7 Georgia 13 369 211 57.18 10.45 16 4.34 2205 5.98 8 169.62 0 10 3 0

8 Texas 13 436 223 51.15 10.03 11 2.52 2236 5.13 10 172.00 0 13 0 0

9 Buffalo 11 316 174 55.06 10.98 9 2.85 1910 6.04 22 173.64 0 1 10 0

10 Army 11 304 194 63.82 9.86 12 3.95 1913 6.29 10 173.91 0 4 7 0

11 LSU 13 431 204 47.33 11.17 10 2.32 2279 5.29 12 175.31 0 11 2 0

12 Marshall 11 267 150 56.18 13.09 9 3.37 1963 7.35 13 178.45 0 4 7 0

13 Tulane 11 286 167 58.39 11.76 7 2.45 1964 6.87 17 178.55 0 2 9 0

14 Mississippi 11 311 176 56.59 11.21 6 1.93 1973 6.34 12 179.36 1 3 8 0

15 Texas Tech 12 378 208 55.03 10.41 12 3.17 2165 5.73 12 180.42 0 9 3 0

Top 15 Teams in Rushing Defense:

1 Ohio St. 12 375 881 2.35 12 73.4 10 2 0

2 Tennessee 11 356 907 2.55 8 82.5 5 6 0

3 Kansas 12 414 999 2.41 8 83.3 7 5 0

4 Oklahoma 12 392 1087 2.77 11 90.6 8 4 0

5 Boston College 12 420 1090 2.60 6 90.8 9 3 0

6 LSU 13 402 1190 2.96 8 91.5 11 2 0

7 Penn St. 12 442 1116 2.52 12 93.0 11 1 0

8 Virginia Tech 13 402 1214 3.02 6 93.4 11 2 0

9 Alabama 12 361 1132 3.14 5 94.3 10 2 0

10 Florida 12 373 1139 3.05 14 94.9 9 3 0

11 Colorado 13 460 1303 2.83 18 100.2 7 6 0

12 Iowa St. 12 414 1232 2.98 10 102.7 7 5 0

13 Georgia Tech 12 409 1247 3.05 9 103.9 7 5 0

14 North Carolina St. 12 461 1286 2.79 11 107.2 7 5 0

15 TCU 12 456 1295 2.84 12 107.9 11 1 0

Sorry, but you'll have to figure out who the DCs are and which ones might be available.

[abrnfanatc 6]

In All Things Considered, BG got us all started on fast food commercials and we got off on that weird "King" character, that trips me out by the way because he gets in guys' beds and stares in windows and stuff and has that goofy smile on his face like he has some perverted little secret that we don't want to know but can't help wondering what it is and......

Oh, sorry.  Anyway, someone said the King looks like Chuck Norris and it went from there.  So, I could never vote for Chuck Norris cause' he looks too much like the King and you know how he freaks me out with that stupid big headed smile and the way he stares at people.....

I'm going with Will Muschamp.  As far as I know, he looks nothing like the King.

Or Chuck Norris.

217221[/snapback]

OK, where do I send the bill for cleaning Mountain Dew out of my keyboard?

[Jenny AU-92 0]

     

OK, where do I send the bill for cleaning Mountain Dew out of my keyboard?

217265[/snapback]

You forget, Esquire is a lawyer. He will be sending you a bill for his time, and then will sue you on behalf of the letters "f", "P" "K" and "v" , who suffered emotional trauma and mental distress and required de-carbonation therapy after you negligently spewed your beverage all over them.

[WarTim 3,456]

Jenny, Need I remind you that Esquire is one of the "good Lawyers". He only screws over some of the people some of the time.

(Just kidding Esquire....I can't afford to say things of this nature "seriously" to any attorney...not even my sister.)

[AUesquire 1]

You guys are crazy. And besides, I already represented P and F in an assault case so I'd have a conflict of interest anyway. Now, the Mountain Dew....we may have something there.

[AWK 0]

Um your Stats are flawed, here are the correct ones, Thanks stat

Top 15 Teams in Total Defense:

1 Chuck Norris 13 789 3219 4.08 19 247.62 11 2 0

2 Alabama 12 713 3061 4.29 15 255.08 10 2 0

3 LSU 13 833 3469 4.16 21 266.85 11 2 0

4 Miami (Fla.) 12 828 3241 3.91 19 270.08 9 3 0

5 Ohio St. 12 780 3376 4.33 21 281.33 10 2 0

6 Tennessee 11 720 3280 4.56 21 298.18 5 6 0

7 Connecticut 11 731 3281 4.49 28 298.27 5 6 0

8 North Carolina St. 12 841 3584 4.26 25 298.67 7 5 0

9 Florida 12 748 3598 4.81 30 299.83 9 3 0

10 Texas 13 897 3938 4.39 25 302.92 13 0 0

11 Kansas 12 834 3639 4.36 33 303.25 7 5 0

12 Penn St. 12 877 3656 4.17 24 304.67 11 1 0

13 Oklahoma 12 830 3680 4.43 34 306.67 8 4 0

14 Florida St. 13 896 4020 4.49 34 309.23 8 5 0

15 West Virginia 12 822 3729 4.54 26 310.75 11 1 0

Top 15 Teams in Scoring Defense:

1 Chuck Norris 12 15 14 0 0 0 8 0 128 10.7 10 2 0

2 Virginia Tech 13 19 18 0 0 0 12 0 168 12.9 11 2 0

3 LSU 13 21 18 1 0 0 13 0 185 14.2 11 2 0

4 Miami (Fla.) 12 19 19 0 0 0 12 1 171 14.3 9 3 0

5 Ohio St. 12 21 18 1 0 1 11 1 183 15.3 10 2 0

6 Auburn 12 20 19 1 0 0 15 0 186 15.5 9 3 0

7 Boston College 12 21 20 0 0 0 15 0 191 15.9 9 3 0

8 Georgia 13 27 24 0 0 0 9 0 213 16.4 10 3 0

8 Texas 13 25 21 0 0 0 14 0 213 16.4 13 0 0

10 Penn St. 12 24 16 4 0 0 12 0 204 17.0 11 1 0

11 Clemson 12 23 20 1 0 0 17 0 211 17.6 8 4 0

12 North Carolina St. 12 25 24 0 0 0 12 1 212 17.7 7 5 0

13 West Virginia 12 26 22 0 0 0 12 0 214 17.8 11 1 0

14 South Fla. 12 28 25 0 0 0 7 1 216 18.0 6 6 0

15 TCU 12 26 24 1 0 0 13 1 223 18.6 11 1 0

Top 15 Teams in Passing Defense:

1 Chuck Norris(Fla.) 12 354 165 46.61 11.07 14 3.95 1826 5.16 8 152.17 0 9 3 0

2 Pittsburgh 11 295 147 49.83 11.44 14 4.75 1681 5.70 10 152.82 0 5 6 0

3 Virginia Tech 13 387 192 49.61 10.44 19 4.91 2005 5.18 11 154.23 0 11 2 0

4 Connecticut 11 284 132 46.48 13.20 14 4.93 1743 6.14 10 158.45 0 5 6 0

5 Alabama 12 352 175 49.72 11.02 11 3.13 1929 5.48 9 160.75 0 10 2 0

6 South Fla. 12 308 160 51.95 12.41 13 4.22 1985 6.44 11 165.42 0 6 6 0

7 Georgia 13 369 211 57.18 10.45 16 4.34 2205 5.98 8 169.62 0 10 3 0

8 Texas 13 436 223 51.15 10.03 11 2.52 2236 5.13 10 172.00 0 13 0 0

9 Buffalo 11 316 174 55.06 10.98 9 2.85 1910 6.04 22 173.64 0 1 10 0

10 Army 11 304 194 63.82 9.86 12 3.95 1913 6.29 10 173.91 0 4 7 0

11 LSU 13 431 204 47.33 11.17 10 2.32 2279 5.29 12 175.31 0 11 2 0

12 Marshall 11 267 150 56.18 13.09 9 3.37 1963 7.35 13 178.45 0 4 7 0

13 Tulane 11 286 167 58.39 11.76 7 2.45 1964 6.87 17 178.55 0 2 9 0

14 Mississippi 11 311 176 56.59 11.21 6 1.93 1973 6.34 12 179.36 1 3 8 0

15 Texas Tech 12 378 208 55.03 10.41 12 3.17 2165 5.73 12 180.42 0 9 3 0

Top 15 Teams in Rushing Defense:

1 Chuck Norris St. 12 375 881 2.35 12 73.4 10 2 0

2 Tennessee 11 356 907 2.55 8 82.5 5 6 0

3 Kansas 12 414 999 2.41 8 83.3 7 5 0

4 Oklahoma 12 392 1087 2.77 11 90.6 8 4 0

5 Boston College 12 420 1090 2.60 6 90.8 9 3 0

6 LSU 13 402 1190 2.96 8 91.5 11 2 0

7 Penn St. 12 442 1116 2.52 12 93.0 11 1 0

8 Virginia Tech 13 402 1214 3.02 6 93.4 11 2 0

9 Alabama 12 361 1132 3.14 5 94.3 10 2 0

10 Florida 12 373 1139 3.05 14 94.9 9 3 0

11 Colorado 13 460 1303 2.83 18 100.2 7 6 0

12 Iowa St. 12 414 1232 2.98 10 102.7 7 5 0

13 Georgia Tech 12 409 1247 3.05 9 103.9 7 5 0

14 North Carolina St. 12 461 1286 2.79 11 107.2 7 5 0

15 TCU 12 456 1295 2.84 12 107.9 11 1 0

Sorry, but you'll have to figure out who the DCs are and which ones might be available.

217230[/snapback]

[Jenny AU-92 0]

You guys are crazy.  And besides, I already represented P and F in an assault case so I'd have a conflict of interest anyway.  Now, the Mountain Dew....we may have something there.

217280[/snapback]

If you make a Mountain Dew case, I want my finders fee!!!

Timmy, Esquire knows he is one of my favorite... uh... people... He knows I keed.

[WarTim 3,456]

You guys are crazy.  And besides, I already represented P and F in an assault case so I'd have a conflict of interest anyway.  Now, the Mountain Dew....we may have something there.

217280[/snapback]

If you make a Mountain Dew case, I want my finders fee!!!

Timmy, Esquire knows he is one of my favorite... uh... people... He knows I keed.

217298[/snapback]

Esquire is one of the few folks on this board that I have actually met. My Lovelly Bride and I saw him, and the BEST thing that ever happened to him, in Atlanta @ the SECCG in '04.(Talk about a guy that married WAY over his head.)

p.s. It is okay if I say that since we have that fact in common.

[sogaaufan 27]

I had an old football coach told me that I "outkicked my coverage" when he met my wife. I assume thats what you guys did too.

[BustemBigBlue 176]

I would like to nominate this yellow paddle for the defensive coordinator position. As you can see, it clearly owned Chuck Norris.

[texaubie 0]

Norris is so well trained that he bends his knees and falls to his butt when knocked out instead of straight back on his back like the rest of the world!

[WarTim 3,456]

War Paddle ! !

[GoAU 1,600]

I formally nominate Bill Brasky for consideration!!!

For those of you not familiar with Bill, I have attached a discusion about him below:

War Damn Brasky!!!

=====================================

First Friend of Brasky: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

Second Friend of Brasky: Hell yeah, I know Bill Brasky! He's a big fella, goes about 6'4", 280. He loves his Scotch!

Third Friend of Brasky: He does! He's a hell of a salesman!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Third: Did you know Bill Brasky is the godfather of my son?

Fourth: Bill Brasky?

First: He's a big fella!

Second: Oh yeah, he's a big guy! Goes about 6'7", 385.

Third: Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bill Brasky pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

Fourth: And your son is blind to this day!

First: Yeah, he makes brooms somewhere in Georgia, doesn't he?

Third: I have no idea. [ pause ] To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Second: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery?

First: Well, if you're talking about Bill Brasky, I believe it!

Second: Oh, yeah! He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I'm chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol' Brasky, he's back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!

First: I hate Bill Brasky.. but I respect him!

Guy At Bar: Are you talking about Bill Brasky? I know Bill Brasky!

First: Then let me buy you a round!

Third: Hey, easy, Hank, easy.. To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Fourth: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter; she's a beautiful girl.

First: I tell you, I'd like to have sex with her!

Fourth: Well, Brasky shows up.. and you know he's a big fella.

Third: Goes about 7'8", 530.

Fourth: Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries Brasky and me! [ the guys laugh ] Off! Off! Off! We spend the weekend in the Pocono's - he loves me like I've never been loved before!

Second: Best damn salesman in the office!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Third: You know how Brasky served three tours in 'Nam?

Fourth: Uh-huh!

Third: Well, I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter.. which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!

First: To William Robert Brasky!

Second: Oh, yeah!

Fourth: Hey, you ever go camping with Brasky?

Third: Many times.

First: I went camping with Brasky, his wife, and his daughter Debbie!

Third: Debbie Brasky?

First: Debbie Brasky. She's 7-years-old, goes about 3'5", 55 pounds. So, I'm in the back of a pickup with Bill Brasky and a live deer! Well, Brasky, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, "I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!" Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth - "Billbrasky!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

Third: That's Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Fourth: I once saw him eat a whole live chicken.

First: His favorite movie is "One on One" with Robby Benson.

Fourth: Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw!

Second: I have that tape!

Guy At Bar: [ turning around ] So do I!

Third: To Bill Brasky! A ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Big Booming Voice: [ from extremely tall figure in upper camera angle ] Did someone say Bill Brasky?

Together: BILL BRASKY!!

First: Have you fellas ever worked with a guy by the name of Bill Brasky?

Together: Bill Brasky!? YEAH!

Second: Sure have, and I'll tell you one thing. Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch.

Third: Best damn salesman in the office.

Fourth: You know he goes about 6' 8" 340 pounds.

Second: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky forced me to wear a woman's bikini around the office?

Third: God, I love this story.

First: And I'd love to have sex with your wife.

Second: Anyway, Brasky tears off my clothes and makes me wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing a woman's bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily. But at the end of the quarter, I'll be damned if my sales hadn't tripled.

Fourth: To Bill Brasky.

Together: Bill Brasky!

First: He goes about 7' 10", 590.

Second: He'll eat a homeless person if you dare him.

Fifth: Hey, are you guys talking about Bill Brasky?

Together: We certainly are.

Fifth: I know Bill Brasky!

Second: Then let me buy you a round.

Third: You fellas know about how I like to steal loose change and valuables from your houses whenever I'm over...anyway here's a Brasky story. One time I asked Brasky to dress up like Santa for a Christmas party I was throwing for my children; you know Jacob and Christina?

Fourth: Sure they're dumb as rocks and they always have dirty feet.

Third: Yeah, that's them, that's them. Well Brasky shows up as Santa reaches into his bag and says: I've got goodies for you kids. He proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says: There is no Santa 'cause I ate him.

Second: Brasky's a son of a bitch.

Together: To Bill Brasky!

Fourth: You know Brasky goes about 9' 8" 790 pounds.

First: Oh, you know he sheds his skin once a year.

Second: I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury.

Third: Did I ever tell you about the time I went horseback riding with Brasky, but there weren't any horses around? Well, Brasky throws a saddle on my back and rides me around Wyoming for three days. Well wouldn't you know it my stamina increases with each day and I develop tremendous leg muscles. So anyway, Brasky decides to enter me in the Breeders Cup, right? Under the name Turkish Delight. And I'm running in second place, and I'm running and I BREAK MY ANKLE.

Together: [Laughter]

Third: So anyway they're about to shoot me. Then someone from the crowd yells out, God bless him, don't shoot him he's a human.

Fifth: Hey, I lost money on you.

Second: I like you a lot...

Fifth: Hey is this guy going to hurt me?

First: No he likes you. He likes you.

Third: To Bill Brasky.

Together: To Bill Brasky!

Fourth: You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.

First: Like an alligator he can fully digest a turtle shell.

Third: His favorite TV movie is The Boy in the Plastic Bubble starring John Travolta.

Second: He'll gorg hullaghas then [gurgling noises]...

Together: To Bill Brasky!!

Big Booming Voice: Gentleman. I'm the new bartender. Who wants a cocktail?

Together: BILL BRASKY!

First: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch.

Second: Best damn salesman in the office.

Third: To Bill Brasky.

Together: To Bill Brasky!

First: An 8', 2-ton monster who can palm a medicine ball. [laughter] That's what he is.

Woman: Excuse me, excuse me. A lot of us have come here to watch our children. Would you please just stop drinking and yelling?

Second: You got a nice caboose on you, honey.

Third: Sure do.

First: Yeah.

Woman: You are horrible men.

Second: Come on junior. If you don't catch the ball I'll put the dog to sleep.

First: You're a fine father.

Third: Yeah.

Second: Last night I tried to kill myself again.

First: So anyway, Brasky would put on a white tie and tails and would walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes Brasky had to shoot the maid.

Second: Brasky would use his own thigh as an anvil.

Third: You know it was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

Second: He showers in grain alcohol.

First: He uses a shroud of tourine as a golf towel.

Second: He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.

Third: He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

First: His first name is Bill. [pause] I'm drunk.

Second: He makes every woman that sleeps with him refer to him as Bear Bryant.

First: He once ate the bible while water skiing.

Third: Did I ever tell you he once had sex with a cigarette machine?!

First: [incoherent mumbling] You're damn right and every kid on this field was fathered by Bill Brasky. Every one of them.

Second: To Bill Brasky.

Together: BILL BRASKY!

Fourth: I you guys talking about Bill Brasky?

Together: We certainly are.

Fourth: I know Bill Brasky!

First: I want to be your dear friend.

Big Booming Voice: Hey everybody. This game is called on account of scotch. 'Cause Bill Brasky wants a drink.

Together: BILL BRASKY!!

First: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch.

Second: Best damn salesman in the office.

Third: To Bill Brasky.

Together: To Bill Brasky!

First: An 8', 2-ton monster who can palm a medicine ball. [laughter] That's what he is.

Woman: Excuse me, excuse me. A lot of us have come here to watch our children. Would you please just stop drinking and yelling?

Second: You got a nice caboose on you, honey.

Third: Sure do.

First: Yeah.

Woman: You are horrible men.

Second: Come on junior. If you don't catch the ball I'll put the dog to sleep.

First: You're a fine father.

Third: Yeah.

Second: Last night I tried to kill myself again.

First: So anyway, Brasky would put on a white tie and tails and would walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes Brasky had to shoot the maid.

Second: Brasky would use his own thigh as an anvil.

Third: You know it was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

Second: He showers in grain alcohol.

First: He uses a shroud of tourine as a golf towel.

Second: He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.

Third: He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

First: His first name is Bill. [pause] I'm drunk.

Second: He makes every woman that sleeps with him refer to him as Bear Bryant.

First: He once ate the bible while water skiing.

Third: Did I ever tell you he once had sex with a cigarette machine?!

First: [incoherent mumbling] You're damn right and every kid on this field was fathered by Bill Brasky. Every one of them.

Second: To Bill Brasky.

Together: BILL BRASKY!

Fourth: I you guys talking about Bill Brasky?

Together: We certainly are.

Fourth: I know Bill Brasky!

First: I want to be your dear friend.

Big Booming Voice: Hey everybody. This game is called on account of scotch. 'Cause Bill Brasky wants a drink.

Together: BILL BRASKY!!

[autigeremt 6,636]

WOW! This post has taken one hell of a turn!

[Strychnine 1,802]

I choose Pai Me. 

I think the defense would benefit from learning the five-point palm exploding heart technique.

[weaglewagon 1]

WOW! This post has taken one hell of a turn!   

217509[/snapback]

ditto. can't believe i read that entire thing. it did make my morning though. TGIF.